You can love someone deeply and still not feel safe with them.
You can care about them, miss them, want the relationship to work, and still find yourself constantly anxious, unheard, dismissed, or unsure of where you stand.
A healthy relationship requires more than a feeling. It needs respect, consistency, emotional safety, honest communication, accountability, and the freedom to be yourself without constantly fearing how the other person will respond.
Sometimes we hold onto a relationship because we keep asking: “But do we love each other?” Maybe there’s another question worth asking: “How does this relationship make me feel?”
Do I feel safe expressing myself?
Can I share my discomfort without being made to feel guilty, or like I’m asking for too much?
Can I question things, or am I expected to just approve and follow, “because it is what is required of me”?
Can we disagree without tearing each other down?
Can I bring my needs to the relationship without being made to feel like a burden?
Can I trust their words because their actions are consistent? Love matters, but love alone cannot carry a relationship that lacks the safety and maturity required to sustain it. Don’t only ask whether you love someone. Ask whether the relationship you’re building with them is a safe place for love to live.
– Written by Ifunanya Eze