My Journey Towards Self-Love

I woke up one morning, and I couldn’t find Kemi.

The most exciting thing about waking up each day was knowing that I would wake up in the arms of the one I loved. But that morning, he was nowhere near me.

I had met Kemi in a life band I joined at camp. He was everything I needed and more. He sang beautifully, played almost every instrument, and wasn’t your typical guy. His mother was a choir member and a committed Christian. She habitually took all her children to church, so Kemi learned from an early age how to sing and play instruments.

His smile was what I looked forward to the most. Waking up every morning to see this fine man smiling… My God! I didn’t want anything else because I felt I had it all. I didn’t care about anyone else; I was just in love.

Kemi persuaded me to move into his apartment after our camp ended. I knew moving in with a man I wasn’t married to was wrong, but I did it anyway.

At that moment, I was thinking with my heart and not my head.

We had our moments. He was a great guy who cared for me and treated me like no one else ever had. My friends started calling me “the lover girl.”

But I had one issue with Kemi. He was a church guy, but he didn’t fear the Lord. From my end, I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I couldn’t let go of what we shared.

I was in love.

One day, we argued about something, and the next morning, I woke up and didn’t find Kemi.

His clothes were gone, and none of his belongings were in the house.

It felt like a dream. I couldn’t understand what was happening. Then, suddenly, my phone rang. It was Kemi’s friend, Kunle. Kunle told me what he should have told me a long time ago, but he kept quiet because of his friendship with Kemi.

That day, I found out that Kemi had a family. He had gotten married just eight months before, and four months after their wedding, he travelled to Akure for a project—that was when we met.

He had left to be with his family.

Now I understood why Kemi made long phone calls late at night and why he never told me anything about his life except about his mother.

Yes! It happened to me. I thought I was loved, but I was played.

These things happen to people, and I always felt sorry for them, never imagining I would be the next victim.

That day, I felt like my life had ended. I didn’t know how to react. I cried. I starved myself, and I felt lost because I couldn’t interpret what I was feeling.

And the one person I should have run back to—I had wronged Him so badly. I stopped going to church because I felt guilty every time I went.

I returned to my apartment, and on the seventh day, something happened. While I laid on my bed crying and begging God for forgiveness, I felt led to read my Bible. When I opened it, the first page I saw was Isaiah 41. I started reading from verses 8-10:

“But you, O Israel, My servant, Whom I have chosen, You descendants of Abraham, My friend, I took you from the ends of the earth, From its farthest corners I called you. I said, ‘You are my servant.’I have chosen you and have not rejected you.”

My God! I cried out. Despite everything I had done, God still loved me. That day, I understood what God’s love truly meant.

Gradually, God helped me through that season. I returned to church, sought counsel, and studied my Bible daily.

Today, having experienced the love of God, I have realized how valuable and loved I am in His sight. No one has to tell me otherwise. I show that same love to myself every day.

I wake up every morning and tell myself how beautiful and loved I am. Self-care is now one of my top priorities. I treat my body as a temple because that’s exactly what it is.

This is my story! Don’t be like me. You can choose to learn from my experience, or you can choose to go down the same road. The choice is yours.

I believe you’ve learned something from my story, and as you continue your journey, remember: that true healing and self-love come when you understand your worth. 

~ Written by TheBookVirtuoso