What if I told you the reason why you act the way you do or the reason why your partner act the way they do is because of what you think about yourself and about them?
A certain IQ test were supposedly ran on children in a particular school by two researchers Rosenthal and Jacobson. They told the teachers it was a “spurters test”. The test was going to select kids whose IQ was going to bump up. Before the test, the researchers divided the children into two and just randomly told the teachers, “These students are “spurters,” they are going to shoot up. These are not.” It was totally random. But as a result of this, the “spurters” actually showed improvements in their IQ test scores, and this is in the part because the teachers believed they were the kids to become “spurters”, and that made them do better.
Now what does this show?
It shows that when you judge people, there is an interaction effect where how you judge a person often affects how the person behaves later on. This is sometimes known as a self-fulfilling prophecies, where your beliefs and expectations about a person become a reality. More specifically, it is known as the Pygmalion effect.
If you treat somebody like a virtuous honest person, they’re likely to become virtuous and honest. If you treat them as cruel and indifferent, it will cause them to become cruel and indifferent. If you are afraid that your partner will cheat on you, it will likely cause them to cheat you.
Stop been afraid of things. Stop creating negative imaginations about your partner, or even yourself. The more you think about yourself a certain way the more likely you are to become it.
Job said, “The things I feared the most has finally befallen me.” He had so many fears and kept making sacrifices to God, especially on behalf of his children. So when the devil was given an opportunity to strike, he used his fears against him.
This is my charge to you this week. Take a chance in what you fear the most. Face it. Do it afraid. Shake its shackles away by doing it. Take a chance on your love life by believing it will succeed.
Written by Ifunanya Eze.